'I was unsure that you would come.' I had been walking for some time when I heard the quiet voice. It seemed to come from the back of the cavern. 'It has been a long time since our pact was struck; I thought perhaps you had forgotten us.'
'I could never forget.' I whispered as I continued my walk into the cavern, following the voice. 'I won’t deny I haven’t tried, but I was always coming back here. You know that.'
'Hardly anything is set in stone, but there is still time for you to learn that. No, this choice was yours, just as the life to come is yours. You need to choose it freely and of your own volition or it will end badly, much as it has for your predecessor.' The words hung heavy in the air even as they confirmed my worst suspicions.
'Then that at least was written in stone, he has fallen?' My fingers tightened around my staff as I braced myself for the answer.
'As he was told would happen. His choice was made not of his own free will, but out of his sense of responsibility.'
'A responsibility that should never have been his!' I raised my staff, as if to challenge my unseen companion. 'You had no business even asking him!'
'Yet a responsibility that needed shouldering never the less. Would you have had him ignore that?'
'I would have had him live out his regenerations as he himself desired to. Not as the slave to someone else’s needs and whims.'
'Yet he has done great good. Would you deny the people he has helped their lives as well as their freedom?'
'What kind of the question is that?' I lost my footing and had to steady myself with my staff. 'How can I possibly answer yes to that question?'
'Yet you did once before. Would you answer differently this day?'
'Surely you know the answer to that question? I’ve come have I not?'
'Once again you cling to the notion of predestination. Have you learned nothing over the decades? The last decision you made in this very cave was of your own free will was it not?'
'You know very well that it was, and that I’ve lived with that decision every day of my life since then.' My stick clicked hard on the stone as I moved deeper yet into the cave in search of my interrogator.
'We all live with every decision we ever make. The choice you made on that last visit led you to the life you have lived ever since. Given the size of your family would you wish your family unborn so that you could live without taking responsibility for yourself?'
'Of course I wouldn’t.' I stared at the ground as I answered.
'Then do not presume that the path you will take out of this cave is predetermined this day.'
'But if he has fallen then his place needs to be taken, surely?'
'Indeed, but to fill it prematurely and with the wrong person could lead only to disaster.' The voice paused, as if weighing up a difficult decision, 'No, we must be sure that his successor does not succumb to the same temptations that have claimed him.'
'But surely waiting will only compound the severity of the problem?' the light from the entrance of the cave was now far behind me now and still I could not find that which I was seeking.
'Not at all. You would know this if you had learned anything at all of the nature of time.'
'Anything at all? I am a Lord of Time. Her mysteries lie exposed before myself and my people!' How dare he! Did he know nothing of what we had achieved?
'Such arrogance. You would rush into this decision without being fully ready. That he has fallen is incidental, that you are unprepared is not.'
Unprepared? How dare he?
'How can you remain so calm? He has fallen! He requires our help, we need to save him.'
'He cannot be saved. He knew this could happen to him when he accepted the responsibility of the task that lay ahead that day.'
'Cannot be saved? After all he’s sacrificed we’re just going to let him fall? Is that acceptable to you, hmm? After all he’s given.' After all that I should have given.
'Not only is it acceptable to me, it was acceptable to him. He knew this day was coming when he took on his role. He accepted that.'
'So you would have me take on his responsibility in his stead? To live out my regenerations in servitude until I follow down the same dark path?'
Yes. For with great responsibility comes great power.
I snapped my head round suddenly at the sound of this additional voice. But before I could place it the voice at the back of the cavern answered my question. 'I would have you make your decision. Nothing more.'
'I made that decision years ago! I walked away from that responsibility and have never looked back. What makes you think I would decide any differently this time?' What made me think I would?
Because you desire this power.
The unexpected answer to my unspoken question seemed to come from the darkest region of the cave.
'Nothing. You chose to come here today because you wanted to, not because I summoned you.'
'Free will has nothing to do with this meeting; I’m here because my friend has fallen following a road that you set him on. The same road you would have me walk now.' Tears began to sting my eyes. 'Alone.'
'You need not have walked that road alone. Companionship was offered for it is a lonely cause you were being asked to fight for.'
'And what companionship was there for him? Who was there to catch him before he could fall? You sent him off to die alone! And now you would have me do the same.'
Exhausted I stood still for a moment; leaning heavily on my staff, waiting patiently for the reprimand that I knew was coming.